This year was about removing seats from the table" -a meme on Instagram
My spirit needs peace ya'll. This year has been a year of reflection for me. It has also been a year of renewal. I have reassessed the relationships of my life (as you may have noticed from previous posts) and realized that there are a lot of things I can do without. There are some situations on my life that I have held onto for for too long and it has come high time for me to let them go and bring about peace within myself. This post may be of a shock to some because while the last post was about friends and much shorter, this one is specifically about family.
Don't be too shocked. We all have families that have issues and dysfunction and we deal with it. We have learned to tip toe around touchy subjects and be fake as if nothing is wrong. Why do we do that? Why do we accept the dysfunction as is and learn to deal with it? Speaking about my life in particular, why must I learn to deal with it? Why do I have to put on a fake face and pretend everything is good depending on who in my family I am around? It's like I have to tell myself to be pleasant or make concessions for people because it's "just the way they are". You have to actually get into character just to deal with some folks and I, Alisa am tired of it.
I will not have it!
I am over it.
I am drawing everything positive into my life. Dealing with dysfunction will bring about nothing positive. It will not heal a family. It only allows us to enable those who bring on this kind of mess. I don't have the time or the energy to fix relationships that are continuously broken and one-sided. I have created a space for myself to say "I will have no more of this and I will not allow it to take over my life". Sometimes we have to choose ourselves. I choose me and it is far from selfish. I just realized that I had nothing more to give. Even if I reached down deep into my soul; there isn't anything there. I’ve had to wash my hands of situations because there are some people in life, family or friend that don't belong there.
I am not angry and I hold no grudges. i am as happy as i can be with my life. I have a wonderful husband and daughter and they deserve a wife and mother who is peaceful. I am just done. It’s freeing to not hold grudges and to just let people do what they do. While reflecting on these relationships I realized that in or out of my life some have made no difference. Maybe the relationships we are holding onto are one sided. Maybe we hold on because they are family and we are "supposed to". What else are we supposed to do when they are bitter, bring no value to your life and just keep with the drama?
I can love you from afar and be there but we do not have to have a relationship
There are some people on this world that should not have access to you. Family or not they should be off limits for your emotional and spiritual well being. They are not worthy of your time and effort. So much disdain stress and heartache is caused by trying to make something work that clearly doesn’t work any longer. Let it go. There is no book on this earth that states you have to allow dysfunction to live within your life. It shouldn’t have a place. Block it! When you allow it to have a place by stating "that’s just the way it is" or "one day this will get better" you are allowing negativity into your spirit. My spirit is worth more than dysfunction and my spirit deserves peace.
I am entering 2018 with a happy heart and a renewed spirit.
Peace and Love