Ties that bind

It was then that I realized I no longer wanted to share my life with these people. It was an impersonal email that made me realize I was trying too hard. For many years I have tried to make relationships work that just weren’t working and didn’t serve any purpose. There was a lack of encouragement, lack of conversation and lack of interest. Time goes by and your conversation has dwindled down to meaningless texts and emails. I no longer cared to know what was going on in their lives and I am sure they felt the same about mine. There wasn’t an attachment. There wasn’t the girlish thought of telling your friend your deepest darkest secrets and not because you don’t have them anymore; you just don’t feel the need to share. You could care less what they think. When I came to that realization, I thought: Do I tell them I am done with this friendship? Is it like a break up? Or do I just let it fall by the wayside and give an “it’s been a long time” hug when we bump in to one another? I wasn’t sure.

There are certain rules when it comes to breaking up a romantic relationship. There is a problem, you break up, you tie up loose ends and make a clean break (or at least that’s how easy it should go). When it is a long-time friend, there is no protocol. There is no tying up loose ends and amicably going your separate ways. It isn't encouraged to end a friendship when it no longer suits you; for any reason. When a romantic relationship is not going well, we are encouraged and often encourage others to end it to spare themselves a doomed relationship. We do what is best for us to free our mind, body and soul. However, in my experience, it doesn't seem that easy to leave a friendship. Why don't we allow ourselves to separate from friendships peacefully? It always seems to end with a bit of drama with both sides placing blame on the other. It should be acceptable for women especially to allow ourselves to end friendships that no longer have an encouraging and accepting spirit. In order to grow as people, we have to understand the art of letting go. Sometimes we hold on so tight because of all the time and effort put forth. I often wonder if time means that we owe more to that friendship. Every relationship goes through ebbs and flows. We have emotional attachments and memories that will last forever. We always hold on to them. At some point these were the people that were our backbone. Some of them were even there at the highest and lowest points of our lives. In our hearts we will always be there for one another if needed, but do we need to hold on forever?


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