Remember the television show Girlfriends? That was my show. I especially loved how when Joan had a thought that she didn’t say aloud, they cut to her speaking in her bubble. This is my “bubble” moment.
You can’t imagine how I felt. I still can’t pull together my feelings about this entire situation. I have so many questions. I just spent the better half of the summer getting to know someone I thought could be my next. Not that I was searching, but it felt that way. He was all the things my husband wasn’t. I also already knew him, so I didn’t have to dig to find out a lot about his past. Yes, I did detective work; I wanted details. I came up with nothing out of the ordinary. I’m beside myself, trying to figure out why a grown man would do this kind of thing.
Ok, back to the scene. Here I am, all-cute, walking into D’s barbecue. I’m super excited because I really thought this dating-while-40-post-divorce-with-three-kids-thing was easy. Not that I thought I’d jump right into marriage with this man, but it was a good set up for it. We were both looking for the same things. We discussed being exclusive and spending more time together. He gave me all the butterflies, but I had no clue that he was crazy. You’d have to be crazy to pull a stunt like this. So, imagine how stunned I was when he approached with this bull.
I was having a great time, talking with some women I knew at the barbecue. I saw D approaching with a male in tow. He smiled; I smiled back. His smile was amazing and made my heart flutter. He took my hand to help me up an introduced me to his friend, Manny. Manny was a bit taller than D. He had olive skin, black hair, and wore black rimmed glasses. He looked like he could be Dominican, Cuban, or from the islands. He also reminded me of those intellectuals who read obscure poetry and hang out at bookstores. He was attractive. He shook my hand. D proceeded to tell each of us about one another, and then for whatever crazy reason he said, “I think you two should get to know each other better. I think you two would make a great match”. I was shocked. I think my heart even stopped beating for a minute. I caught my breath, with a confused look on my face. I asked him to repeat himself. He looked like he was saying sorry with his eyes or that he was acknowledging the absurdity of this situation, as he repeated it. Manny, however, extended his hand and said, “Nice to meet you.” I wasn’t amused, happy to meet him, or happy to be in this position at all. I calmly picked up my purse and said a very polite “I’m sorry. I need to go, now.” I walked passed these fools and grabbed two bottles of very expensive Red from the bar; I continued to walk to my car. I got in and peeled out! I may have even worn my tires out. I was so angry. I wouldn’t have been able to control myself, if I stayed. It took everything not to let him and his dopey looking friend have it before I exited stage left.
What kind of ish was this? Some crazy cult? Who does this? My head was spinning. I had already had a few drinks, so I drove with a buzz. I don’t recommend that to anyone, but I really wasn’t in a place to call an Uber. I’d have to wait for them, so I could pick up my car from this crazy man’s home. I made it home, and the first thing I did was drink a glass of wine in a wine glass reminiscent of Olivia Pope. Thank God my kids were with my ex because I needed to process this. I sent my girls a text, while I was downing my second glass of Red, and told them to get here, asap. They all showed up, one by one. Per usual, Sanja had one of her damn kids on her hip. I get that you have a million kids, but does one of them always have to be with you when we are together? I mean, in the last five years she has never even shown up without one of her kids. Probably because her husband refuses to do anything that doesn’t involve him making money. I try to act like I don’t mind because the mood I’m in right now: anyone could get it.
I filled my girls in on the whole drama. They were all in as much disbelief as I was. How on earth would anyone think this is normal? Especially a 40 year old man. Sanja who doesn’t believe in divorce, and it shows, had the nerve to ask “Do you think you were too hasty with your divorce? Maybe you should rethink your relationship with Jay?” I told you that dating with children at your age would be hard. This coming from a woman whose husband spends the better part of the year traveling to exotic countries for work, while she is at home, taking care of four kids. Maya had to hold me back. Not only did this chick show up here with her crying baby in tow, she had the nerve to suggest that I go back to a toxic relationship. Sometimes I wonder how we even became friends. Later on, I’m going to think about what I even like about her. Right now, I just want her and her damn child out of my house. I ask her to leave and not politely. I don’t care.
Nicole and Maya stayed a little later and helped me calm down with the help of Jose Cuervo. I don’t know how I would get by without these ladies. They kept me together, while I went through my divorce. I thought that was the hardest thing I would ever have to go through. Now, I’m faced with dating again, at 40, with three children. Is this what I’m looking forward to? Grown men playing games, heartbreak, and drama? If it is, I don’t want it. I didn’t work my hardest to be the woman I am to deal with this. I’m top shelf and won’t settle for anything less.
After cleaning up, once the ladies left, I realized Maya hadn’t told me they made it home, yet. Since Nicole drank a lot, as always, Maya drove her home. I couldn’t find my cellphone and realized I hadn’t seen it since my exit from that hell of a party. I went outside and checked my car. Thank goodness it was in the driver’s seat. I panicked when I saw how many missed calls and texts there were. I immediately checked them, fearing it was my ex, calling to talk about the children. There were four missed calls, two voicemails, and a few texts. One voicemail was from Maya, telling me they got home okay. I saw Sanja called, but she didn’t leave a message. There was a call from a number I didn’t recognize and one message from D. The nerve.