Sunday brunch has been a staple in our friendship for as long as I can remember. Having been friends for years it’s nice that we haven’t grown out of touch. Me and, I will call her Nina for privacy purposes, have been friends for as long as I can remember. Since elementary school, we’ve been inseparable. We only parted when we decided on different universities. We’ve met our other friends, Sanja and Nicole, at various stages of our lives. For every special occasion, we supported one another. Graduation, first jobs, relationships, marriages, babies, and unfortunately divorce. Yes, we were celebrating her divorce. It has been a long time coming, and her ex-husband wasn’t a good man. It had also been a long drawn out ordeal. After we all filled each other in on what we’ve been up to, Nina filled us in on her post-divorce dating life.
Nina wasn’t one to date a ton of guys. She was always focused on being settled and taking care of her family, which she does well. While we were all out partying and having relationship drama, time and time again, Nina was married, buying a home, raising a family, as well as having an amazing career. She had goals. She was everything the rest of us strived to be.
Now, newly single, Nina is filling us in on how dating is going. She has no idea what dating means in 2019, especially when your dating pool is different. She’s now close to 40 and has children. She feels like her chances are slim. However, she’s less concerned about this one person from her past who sends her a DM. Nina feels ready and prepared to begin dating again. It had been a long year and a half to get to the finalization. She and her ex-husband were amicable and planned to co-parent. So, given that she didn’t have emotional baggage and was ready to meet someone great, she was optimistic about the old friend. They’re the same age, they both have children, and there’s no baggage. It sounded great to her, and it should’ve been until it wasn’t.
This man, we can call him D, looked great on paper. He had all the qualities any woman would want. I could understand her excitement, but in the back of my mind I wondered about him: do grown men really do all their communicating with the opposite sex through texts and DM’s? During the conversation, she wondered out loud as well. She and I often thought alike, so I didn’t plan on asking her that question. Besides, I, being one of the married women at the table, had no business going there. I’d never as a married woman give a single woman advice. I didn’t know anything about the single life; it wasn’t my ministry. While I deeply continued to wonder this, she continued with her story. Finally, D asked her out. They met for coffee and had wonderful conversation. They had a great discussion about how their lives had changed since high school, their children, and their careers. They made a date to go out again a week later.
The next Saturday evening we all received a text from Nina, requesting us at her home, asap. This was unusual because she usually had weeks and weekends planned out. She left very little room for spontaneity. We all hurried to her home, worried that something was wrong. We arrived at Nina’s house and were greeted by bottles of wine and hard alcohol on her back porch. She looked amused, angry, and clueless all at the same time. She told us to fill our glasses before she began to tell us the story.
Nina proceeded to tell us about the date she went on with D. She had a great time. They had dinner, they danced, and they went for a walk around downtown. She felt a spark, and they even kissed when he dropped her off at her home. They made plans for a barbeque at his home the next day. She arrived at the barbeque and recognized a few people there. She noticed that he wasn’t spending as much time with her as she expected, but he was of course the host. While she sat with a group of women, talking, he approached her with another man in tow. He introduced them, and this was when it all went to hell. D, the guy she was dating, stay with me, introduced Nina to his friend of many years and proceeded to tell them both he thought they would make a good match.
Yes, his friend and Nina, the woman he was dating.