"Make sure you don’t take things for granted and go slack in working for the common good; share what you have with others. God takes particular pleasure in acts of worship—a different kind of “sacrifice”—that take place in kitchen and workplace and on the streets". Hebrews 13:16 MSG There has never been a time in my life where I have been more sure that God exists than right now. Sure, I’ve always believed it and have specific instances in my life where I know it was only HIM, and one of those times is now.
Two weeks ago I was in my restroom and saw blood droplets appear. I couldn't find where it was coming from and started to look and realized it was coming from my right breast. Panic immediately set in. I called my husband into the bathroom for further inspection of both. The few droplets were all that we saw, and it didn’t happen again. The next morning I called my doctor's office. I called so early the answering service picked up. I told my OB/GYN nurse what was happening, and she scheduled me for that Monday morning, at 9:40 am. That was a Friday.
My doctor, who also delivered my child, is amazing. It’s important that you have doctors that understand you and listen to you. She gave a full clinical breast exam and felt nothing, but stated “everything feels normal, but I’m sending you for an ultrasound and diagnostic mammogram, ASAP. This could be nothing, but we don’t want to miss anything”. “You have no family history, right?” “Right,” I replied. I had an appointment one week later. I wasn’t scared, but I was anxious. I’ve not even reached the “screening mammogram age,” and here I was getting a diagnostic and an ultrasound.
Everyone was amazing at the breast center. It felt like a spa. Again, the question came “Any family history of breast cancer”? “No,” I replied. The mammogram itself wasn’t painful, but the bleeding did appear again, during the process. The ultrasound took longer, and it was then that I realized something was off. She focused on a certain spot for a long period of time and she took a lot of images. Once it was over the nurse who reads the images came in and showed them to me. It was on the screen... a small mass in my right breast. It was a little bigger than a centimeter. She had this soothing, caring voice that I needed in that moment. She said, much like my doctor said, it could be nothing, but we need to be sure. They sent the information to my doctor, and two days later, I was having a breast biopsy.
I arrived at the surgeon's office, and, again, everyone was amazing. The surgeon, herself, had me hysterically laughing in the room. “Do you have a family history of breast cancer,” she asked, “No,” I replied. She was open and she was straightforward. She had such a positive attitude. Even the nurses were excellent. I was comfortable with her. She was human. You know how some doctors are just stuffy and have no emotion? She was the total opposite and extremely professional. I felt cared for and that she knew exactly what she was doing. While she was performing the biopsy, I watched the process in the screen and could see the needle, in the small mass, in my breast. She explained everything that was happening as she was doing it. While viewing, she told me that it looked like it could be cancer and talked about what happens if it is. She explained that it could also come back benign. She couldn’t give me a definite answer, until the results of the sample came back, but I understood. She said to me “You can’t feel that mass. It’s really far in there. Luckily, you had the nipple discharge because if you hadn’t, we wouldn’t have found that for probably another two years”. So, in about a week I will know more.
I have no family history of breast cancer. I have no lumps that can be felt. I am also not 40, so a screening mammogram isn’t even recommended for me. If I did not have that nipple discharge, I may have never known or known too late. It’s important that I recognize that it was only GOD. I don’t care what anyone else believes. That’s why I know. I know that I will be fine, regardless, because of HIM. I am overwhelmed. Sometimes I'm sad. Sometimes I'm frustrated because on top of the day to day, I now have this. However, I can’t focus on the bad because I have to focus on the good. I have an amazing support system. My husband and my mother have been by my side through all of it, and I have great friends, who are praying for me and checking on me often. Whatever this is, I will be fine. God has my back.
I will write a blog post with an update after my results when I am ready. I welcome prayers and thanks to those who have texted me. I will not likely answer phone calls because retelling this over and over is hard which I’m sure is understood.
I want to stress the importance of advocating for yourself. If you have a good doctor, then that’s perfect. If you don’t, find one and don’t rest until you have the right one. You have the right to be comfortable with your doctor, and you deserve a doctor that is there for their patients and not just money. Pay attention to your body. We all know when something is off. See your doctor often and form a relationship with him or her. It’s best when you are the leader of your own health team.
Peace and love