I was talking to someone recently. She was explaining some things she was going through and we hadn’t spoken in a long time. I realized halfway through the conversation that we had had this conversation before. Many times before. I’m listening and not saying anything because from what I remember, I give ideas on how to solve the issue, but she never takes the advice. I have also learned a long time ago to not advise if you’re not asked. So I’m half-listening because I know exactly where this conversation is going. I want to cut her off and tell her I will not do this with her for the millionth time, but she is emotional and I felt bad. I understand that she is feeling very stuck in her life right now. She is feeling stunted physically, emotionally, and professionally.
While I understand she’s been through a lot I have to wonder how long she plans to hold on to the things that hold her back. All of her energy is focused on past hurt and struggle. How can you move forward when there is so much sitting on your shoulders?
I wonder how many of us miss out on opportunities, friends, loves of our lives because we are holding on to the past. How much of our pasts define us? Are we defined by one single event or relationship? It’s easy to hold back and fly under the radar when we have been hurt. It gets it, it’s protection, but how long is too long? How do you move on?
I saw a quote once, not sure who said it. It said, “the past is a place of reference, not a place of residence”. It’s okay to use your past as a reference guide but don’t plant roots there. We stifle our growth if we don’t allow ourselves to move forward.
How you are you prepared to spend your energy in 2021?